The Christmas Carol Conundrum
by ScienceGeekMom
Summary: For the Big Bang Theory Forum Holiday Challenge: With some help (and surprise meetings), Sheldon discovers meaning in Christmas and the need to celebrate it with his friends and family. Primarily about Sheldon, secondarily about Amy, but everyone makes an appearance. I own nothing of the Big Bang Theory or its characters.
1. And so it begins

**A/N - Written for the Big Bang Theory Holiday Challenge. 5 of the following 8 words must be used: snow, feast, jolly, mistletoe, gravity, passion, slippery, hilarious. Words used are in bold in the story.**

* * *

><p>"Merry Christmas!" announced Amy, as she and Penny came through the apartment door laden with bags.<p>

Leonard looked up, eyes brightening at the sight of his fiancée. Sheldon looked up and scowled.

"Not this infernal nonsense again! If you must harp on about this thinly veiled excuse to force religion on the masses, then that greeting is only appropriate for the actual day of the holiday. It is merely the day before the holiday, so the proper greeting should be 'Good evening'."

"Sheldon, it is Christmas Eve. That is a part of the Christmas holiday too. When my father was alive, we would go out driving on Christmas Eve to look at all the beautiful lights around the town. Then, even though my family wasn't particularly religious, we would go to a midnight Christmas Eve candlelight service at a little church down the street. I loved the ceremony and the decorations and felt like such a big girl when my father let me hold my own lit candle."

Sheldon snorted, "A fire hazard, clearly. Someone should have notified the fire marshal."

Penny interjected, ignoring her irritable neighbor. "We loved the lights too. And we always had the children's Christmas nativity pageant early on Christmas eve. I remember the year that I got to be Mary – all the girls wanted to be her, but it was my turn. Of course, that was the year Tommy Webster played Joseph. He tripped going up the stage and fell face-first into the manger." She giggled. "Thankfully we hadn't put the baby Jesus into it yet."

Amy looked enchanted. "Oh, bestie. I never got to be in a Christmas pageant, but I bet you made the most beautiful Mary ever."

Leonard got up and gave Penny a hug. "I have no doubt of that at all. I had no idea, Penny, that this was part of your traditions, but I think it's great. Some day, Uncle Sheldon and Aunt Amy will come and watch our little golden-haired daughter, a little actress like her mom, play Mary."

Penny smiled and gave Leonard a tender kiss. Amy nodded eagerly and looked hopefully toward Sheldon.

However, Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Completely impossible. I do not attend amateur productions, particularly in churches at such a meaningless time of year and especially with the potential for death by fiery inferno. Now please clear away all that unnecessary packaging and the womenfolk and let's get ready for Halo Night."

Leonard stood up. "Sheldon, don't you remember that we are all invited to Raj's apartment for a party and gift exchange? The email invitation came last week."

Sheldon leapt up in alarm. "That wasn't a joke! It clearly had to be a joke. Surely I have made is abundantly clear that this farcical 'holiday' is not an appropriate occasion for gift-giving. I would expect you all to comply with my wishes in this regard."

Sheldon plopped back down in his spot. "I am just going to sit here, playing video games until you all come to your senses and join me here for the properly scheduled evening."

Leonard shook his head sadly. "Well, Sheldon. It will be a lonely evening. Come on, Penny. Would you like a ride, Amy, or will you drive yourself?"

Amy looked at Sheldon, who had his arms crossed and a pouting look on his face. A pained expression entered her eyes and her smile dropped. "You know, Leonard, I'm really not feeling up to a party this evening. I think I'm going to go home instead."

Penny rushed to Amy. "Sweetie, don't be alone tonight. Come with us. It'll be fun – you'll see. Ignore Mr. Grinch here."

Amy shook her head. "Thanks, bestie, but I think I'll pass. Have a great evening and thank Raj for me." With that, she picked up her packages and left the apartment.

Sheldon shouted after her. "Good job, Amy! I'm glad you came to your senses and have forsworn that travesty of a 'good time'." He settled back complacently until Penny smacked him in the head.

"Sheldon, you are such an ass sometimes. Amy spent all day looking for the perfect gift for you."

"Language, Penny, language! Well, she shouldn't have done that. I have not contracted with her to exchange gifts – we would have had to pre-determine a spending limit, as well as other appropriate rules. Since she took this upon herself without the proper authority, I do not need to accept her gift or to reciprocate."

Leonard sighed. "Sheldon, I thought you loved her. You still have a lot to learn, my friend." Upon receiving no acknowledgement, Leonard turned to Penny. "Let's just go now."

* * *

><p>Sheldon sat in his spot for an hour, waiting for the boys to come back for Halo Night. When it became apparent that that was not going to happen, he prepared for an early bedtime – brushing his teeth and putting on his Wednesday night pajamas, before climbing into his bed and assuming his traditional coffin-like sleeping posture.<p>

However he had some trouble settling in.

_This absurd situation is upsetting me. I am in the right here – they all know how I feel about this time of the year. It was terribly inconsiderate of them to put me in this position. I do not need to feel bad about Amy. She's just fine._

Somehow, though, being right didn't settle him down. Tossing and turning, finally, Sheldon drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

* * *

><p>"Hello, Sheldon."<p>

"Professor Proton! It's good to see….Good grief, what are you wearing?"

Professor Proton was dressed in a way that Sheldon had never seen before. He was sporting a bright red and green sweater, with a picture of Rudolph the Reindeer on it and a blinking light where Rudolph's nose would be. He had on a pair of antlers on his head. And when Arthur turned around, Sheldon saw that the back of the sweater had Rudolph's behind on it with a big brown pompon tail.

"Um…perhaps it would be better if you put on your Jedi robes?"

"Sheldon, even in the after life, we can have an ugly sweater Christmas party. And I've just about maneuvered my friend, Muriel, under the mistletoe. I'd like to get on with this so I can get back to my evening."

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, Arthur. Why are you here tonight? I can't imagine why you think I need you right now."

"Well, Sheldon, every person should participate willingly in the love and spirit of humankind. Not to do so endangers the soul and life – a line you are teetering on. In life you forge the chains that drag you down and they are harder to remove the thicker they get. So I was sent with this message and to prepare you."

Arthur paused for effect. "This evening, you will be haunted by three ghosts."

"That hackneyed old chestnut?! Really?! Hasn't the whole Charles Dickens' _A Christmas Carol_ thing been done to death?"

Arthur sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, I know. It has. Most story franchises resort to it at some time or the other. I've met Charles Dickens now and he is terribly embarrassed that humanity sees this as his premier work." But then Arthur looked up and firmed his expression, "Regardless, Sheldon, there is a reason it is used so often. Because its message of life review, regret for wrongdoing, and possible change speaks so much to all of us."

Sheldon smirked. "This is **hilarious**! Oh, I know…this is what I'm supposed to say – 'You may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!'"

Arthur sighed. "Yes, Sheldon, you've read the original story. Good for you. But Sheldon, this is not a joke; you need to understand the **gravity** of the situation. I have visited you before – you know that I will come when you need me. I am not an apparition caused by your dinner!"

Sheldon thought for a moment. "I suppose that is true. All right, Arthur. I question that I have wrongdoing or regrets or changes that I need to make in my life. But I can visit with these ghosts and see what they have to show me. Bring on your ghosts."

"Thank you, Sheldon. I will be going now – Muriel awaits. But, please … learn from this experience."

"I learn from everything, Arthur. Farewell until I see you again."

With that, Professor Proton vanished. Sheldon sat up in his bed, shaking his head in disbelief. _If I can't sleep, I might as well enjoy a walk down memory lane. I wonder what the Ghost of Christmas Past will look like?_

A throat cleared behind him. "Sheldon?"

Sheldon turned around and gasped. "Dad?"


	2. Christmas Past

Sheldon stood up. "Dad?" he repeated in a daze.

"Yeah, Shelly, it's me."

There stood a tall man, dressed in blue jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt. He looked so much like Sheldon's brother, George Jr, but Sheldon could see elements of himself there too. His brother may have had his father's breadth of face, but Sheldon's eyes were the same blue as his father's. When his father's nose wasn't blotchy red from alcohol, their noses were quite similar and Sheldon was surprised to discover that they actually held their bodies the same way when they both stood up.

It was hard to tell which of them felt more awkward.

"Um…Dad…you look much … thinner… than the last time I saw you."

"Yeah, Shelly, and you've filled out a might since then. You know…I've had some, uh, time to work on myself. Both physically and mentally, ya know. Time to sort some crap out." Sheldon nodded.

George Sr. took a deep breath. "So, it's good to see you, son! Come over here and greet your old man proper!"

Sheldon walked over and held out his right hand. George grabbed him around the shoulders in a big bear hug while Sheldon struggled to get free.

"I guess some things never change," muttered George. "So, OK, Shelly – we gotta get goin'. I have some stuff I'm supposed to show you."

"So I gathered."

"Are you sassin' me, boy?"

"No, sir. Absolutely not."

* * *

><p>Sheldon materialized with his ghost father in Sheldon's childhood church.<p>

"A church, Dad? Really? Is this part of Mother's plot to make me attend church once a year?"

"You're an adult and she's still goin' on about that? Good God! No – this is the main thing I gotta show ya."

Sheldon looked around and realized that it was a Christmas Eve service. He had a sinking feeling that this was going to be what had become known in Galveston as the infamous "Cooper Christmas Catastrophe." He remembered this embarrassing Christmas pageant all too well. Sheldon leaned over to his ghost father, "Dad, I have an eidetic memory. I remember all the details of this. Do we really have to watch this?"

"Yeah, Shelly, we do. Maybe seeing it from a different spot might help you learn a few things."

Sheldon huffed and sat down in a pew, looking around. This was the Christmas that Missy got to play Mary in the Christmas pageant. He remembered how earlier that evening his mother had fussed over Missy, making sure that her hair was just perfect and she had her lines all memorized. Missy had been so excited, clutching the baby doll she had chosen especially to play Jesus. George Jr. was given the part of a Wise Man, an ironic choice given that he was as dumb as a stump.

Of course, his mother hadn't had to check that he knew his lines. With his eidetic memory and the fact that he was the only child who could say all the big words, Sheldon had been assigned the role of narrator.

Sheldon saw himself come out, all clean and decked out in that horrible itchy suit that his parents had insisted that he wear (even though he tried to tell them that the baby Jesus didn't care what anyone had on). The pageant started. Child Sheldon began the narration, the characters took their places – Missy was beaming, cradling her doll.

At first, it was just fine. But Sheldon knew what was coming. He started to fidget. Then came Child Sheldon's fateful line…

"Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel…Good grief. This is utter hogwash. I've been reading about conception. Surely you all know how it is done? A man inserts his erect penis into a woman's lubricated vagina to deposit the sperm to fertilize the egg. That act is commonly known as coitus."

There was a shocked gasp from the congregation. The choir director swooned, pulling over the Advent wreath with the lit candles. The corner of the pageant backdrop caught on fire and the pastor leapt up to stamp it out, knocking children over in his haste. The angels and shepherds started to run down the aisles to their parents (who hastily covered their ears), while Missy burst into tears.

Sheldon heard himself continue with his science lecture. "A virgin is a woman who has not engaged in coitus, thus she cannot become impregnated. Unless, of course, scientific intervention was used, but I am quite confident that the technology to artificially inseminate was not…"

At this point, the pastor grabbed Child Sheldon by the arm and marched him away from the lectern off to his office. Sheldon looked at his shoes, embarrassed to relive the memory. His ghost father nudged his arm and whispered, "Look at the family, son."

Sheldon looked. His mother was running to Missy, of course. His father and MeeMaw, though, were doubled over laughing. His MeeMaw wiped away her tears and said, "Well, he certainly ain't wrong!"

Sheldon looked at his ghost father with surprise. "You were laughing! I don't understand. You took me out back and gave me a tremendous spanking that night. Why did you do that if you thought it was funny?"

"Son, I had to do that. You can't go around disruptin' things that people hold dear – you had to learn a lesson. But it was the damnedest funniest Christmas eve ever. Come on – I wanna show you somethin' else."

They walked to where Sheldon's mother was consoling Missy. Mrs. Smithfield, the church's oldest member and primary benefactor, stormed over, saying "Mary, that child is devil-spawn. He needs to be in some kind of facility or something."

Sheldon saw Mary straighten up with the angriest face he had ever seen. "Sheldon is one of God's special people. He's brilliant and will change the world some day – we just gotta help him learn to handle it. God loves him. I love him."

Missy piped in. "And I love him too," she said, glaring at Mrs. Smithfield.

Sheldon was touched. He only remembered the horror of that night – the embarrassment, the interminable lecture from the pastor, the spanking from his father. He had never known how much his family was behind him.

His ghost father pulled him along. "Come on, Shelly, there's more."

An instant later, Sheldon was standing just inside his parents' bedroom. He immediately clapped his hands over his eyes. "Dad! I don't want to see this!"

"Oh, good Lord, Sheldon." His ghost father pulled his hands away from his eyes. "We aren't doing THAT! Just watch."

Mary's mother was getting into bed, saying "I can't believe that old bitty saying those awful things about our Shelly!"

George Sr. laughed. "So we don't send her a Christmas card no more. No loss there."

Mary smiled. "God may love her, but I ain't there yet. But, George, Shelly sure is a tough one sometimes."

"Yeah – but, you know, Jesus was a handful too. Think how his parents must a felt."

"Hey, you're right."

"But you know, Mary, Shelly's gonna be awful disappointed tomorrow morning when he doesn't get that centrifuge thingy he wants. Hell, I could never afford it on my salary. I wish I could. I tried. I called around – do you know that they use those things in hospitals?"

"I know, George. Maybe one of those toys we are givin' him will be something he'll be able to relate to."

"Maybe. I just want him to be able to hang with the guys, ya know? Maybe some of the other kids will come over if he's got some good toys."

"Oh, George – he's just not ever gonna be like that. God didn't make him that way."

"Yeah, I know. He's amazing – scary amazing. And I know he's got somethin' great ahead. But he needs to have a few things he can do with regular people. Hey – he's getting the hang of watchin' football. Some day he's gonna be glad he knows that."

Sheldon thought about his Thanksgiving time with Mr. Rostenkowski. He 'd never admitted it to anyone, but it had been nice to have a beer and talk football with the man. He turned his attention back to his parents in the bed.

"He doesn't like it, but I understand why you're doin' it, George."

"Yeah. Maybe some day he will too, I hope. But enough about Shelly. Now, Mary, get over here. How about a little Christmas cheer?"

When Sheldon's mother giggled, Sheldon's ghost father whirled Sheldon around and exclaimed, "Time to go!"

* * *

><p>Soon they were back in Sheldon's room.<p>

"Shelly, I know that things went to hell in a handbasket with your mom and me. I wasn't the best dad or husband. The drinking, the job stress, everything got to me. But I did love you both. I hope you know that."

Sheldon nodded. Maybe he hadn't always known, but tonight he had seen that love.

"You know, Sheldon. I wanted to look good to you tonight. I wanted you to think a little better of me. I'm real proud of you and that sciency stuff. I wanted us to have a chance to be together as adults. "

Sheldon just nodded again.

George sighed. "Well, I gotta be goin' now. Make room for the next ghost, you know?"

Sheldon hesitated and then looked at his dad. "It wasn't so bad." His father looked confused. "You know, Dad – watching football. Last Thanksgiving, I sat with my friend's father, drinking beer and talking football. We toasted in memory of you."

Sheldon's father smiled bittersweetly as he started to fade out.

Sheldon struggled with himself to find one last connection to make with his father before he disappeared. Then it came to him. "Hey, Dad…I just wanted you to know that I have this great, spacious office where I work at CalTech and… I won it in a basketball duel."

The last thing Sheldon could see was his father beaming. "No shit, Shelly?"

"No shit, Dad."


	3. Christmas Present

Sheldon sat on the edge of his bed, hands clasped, rocking gently back and forth. That had been a much harder encounter than he had imagined when Arthur came to visit him. Yet, while it wasn't easy to see his father again, his perspective had begun to alter. That awful memory of the "Cooper Christmas Catastrophe" was changing – there was humor and love skirting around its edges now. He knew that he had more thinking to do about those scenes his father showed him, but Sheldon doubted that he was going to have lots of time to reflect. After all, the next ghost was due any minute.

Sure enough, Sheldon was suddenly enveloped in the smell of Old Spice aftershave, with just a hint of talcum powder. "Pop-Pop!" shouted Sheldon, as he leapt up and threw himself into the arms of his beloved grandfather.

"Shelly, my boy! How did you know it was me? I haven't seen you since you were five years old."

"Pop-Pop. I have an eidetic memory; I don't ever forget anything. I remember exactly how you smell."

"Well, Shelly, look at you. You sure growed up nice and tall. And now you are a big-time scientist, doing your research at a university. I always knew that you were gonna do that some day."

"Pop-Pop, would you like to come see where I work? We could go right now."

"Shelly, you know I'd love to see and hear all about your work – I always have found your science fascinatin'. But I'm here as the Ghost of Christmas Present and right now I want to meet your friends and this girlfriend of yours. Why aren't you with them tonight?"

Sheldon hung his head a little. "Today is Wednesday. On Wednesday, we always get together to play Halo. But they were disregarding the schedule; they decided to have a Christmas Eve party instead."

"Hmm…I see. Were you invited to this party, Sheldon?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then we best hightail it over there."

* * *

><p>Just a few minutes later, they materialized in Raj's apartment. Sheldon looked around. His friends had clearly just finished a great <strong>feast<strong> – there was still part of a freshly cut chocolate pie on the table and his friends had that glazed look that said they'd eaten too much.

Pop-Pop smiled. "I sure do love me a good chocolate pie. Nothing beat your MeeMaw's Christmas one – it was the best ever!" Sheldon exuberantly agreed. "It still is!"

Leonard roused himself from his glutinous stupor and picked up his empty plate. "Wow, Raj, that was fabulous. Why don't you let us clean up?"

Raj waved him away. "No, I'll take care of it later. Now it's time for games."

There was some good-natured bantering while the couples decided what game they would all be happy playing. Trivial Pursuit, Risk, and Star Trek Monopoly were all discarded as choices, as were Truth or Dare and Encore. Finally, the friends decided to play Cranium, a game that combined knowledge, charades, songs, and drawing – something for all of them.

Bernadette stared at Howard with narrowed eyes. "You'd better have your 'A' game on tonight, honey, or your Christmas may be a little less merry." Howard winced, but bravely answered back, "Of course I'm ready, but maybe it's good that I celebrate Hannukah, just in case." Bernadette just gave him "the look".

Penny ignored them, while setting up the game board. "I sure wish Amy and Sheldon were here tonight. I know Amy was really looking forward to this.

"Yeah, without Sheldon, it just wasn't the same when I gave the Christmas toast and nobody felt obligated to explain why it is called a 'toast'," said Raj.

"Why is it called a toast?" asked Emily, amidst a chorus of groans.

Leonard chuckled. "Let's leave that to Sheldon to tell you another time. Don't worry – his explanation of that is as much a tradition as toasts themselves are."

Everyone laughed, but then Penny sobered. "As much as I hate to say it, though, maybe it's a good thing that Amy didn't come alone. Dividing into teams for game time would just rub it in that Sheldon wouldn't come."

Raj snorted. "I'm assuming that Sheldon was an ass?"

"Yes," said Leonard. "You should have seen him shoot her down with his attitude. He didn't even have to tell her not to come. He was so critical and sarcastic that he just sucked the Christmas spirit right out of her."

Bernadette piped in. "I thought their relationship would be different after he told her that he loved her. I thought maybe he'd try new things for her…or at least work to make her happy."

"I guess that love doesn't keep Sheldon from being his usual self-centered self. Especially at this time of year."

Pop-Pop turned to Sheldon. "Shelly, what happened? You used to love Christmas."

Sheldon fidgeted, twitching a little. "It's a silly holiday, Pop-Pop. A forced gift exchange with reciprocal obligations. Rich food, not on my schedule, that upsets my digestion."

"Shelly, I didn't ask what excuses you give. I asked what happened?"

"You died!" Sheldon said heatedly. "I asked Santa to bring you back and he didn't. You were the only person who understood my love of science. Then you were gone and all the presents I got were stupid sports equipment and silly toys." Sheldon felt a bit of shame as he said that, though – he knew now that his parents had paid attention to his wants and tried to be supportive, but lack of money and access had kept them from fulfilling his wishes.

Pop-Pop sighed. "Shelly, I didn't WANT to leave you. I didn't want to leave MeeMaw or any of you. I'm sorry that you didn't get all you wanted, but you're takin' your anger out on your friends and family. You are old enough now, boy, to know that Christmas ain't about what you get – it's about appreciatin' what ya got. And ya got these friends – worryin' and thinkin' about you and your girl. The presents are part of this just to show that ya care."

Sheldon was feeling a little overwhelmed. He turned his attention back to the game just to clear his head a little. He watched Penny massacre "Take Me Out to the Ballgame". While Bernadette glared at him, Howard flubbed building a clay model of a goal post – it was questionable whether he even knew what one was. And Raj completely failed at spelling "diarrhea" backwards – no one bought his excuse that English wasn't his first language.

"If Amy and I were there, we would be crushing them! We know how to spell 'diarrhea'."

Pop-Pop bit back a smirk. "So your girl likes to play games? She smart as a whip - just like you?"

"Yes, she's a genius and an accomplished neurobiologist, too." Sheldon smiled widely. Although he wouldn't always admit it, he loved that she could often beat him at games. Together, they'd be an unstoppable team.

Then Leonard got up to act out a character card. He stood up tall, stuck his nose in the air and said, "I hate Christmas, the whole Christmas season. Now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason."

"You're Sheldon!" Penny guessed loudly, as everyone burst out in laughter. The smile slipped off Sheldon's face.

"Penny, come on. Sheldon wouldn't put it like that. He'd say…

_The Saturnalia holiday has been by Christians co-opted  
><em>_But not by me – oh, not by me, will it ever be adopted_"

"No, no, I've got it!" shouted Howard. "He'd say…

_Set me free  
><em>_Oh, Christmas tree  
><em>_I will not be  
><em>_A devotee_

"My turn!" called Raj…

Sheldon turned to his grandfather. "Can we move on now?"

Pop-Pop nodded. "Sure. I think we'd better go check on your gal."

* * *

><p>As they materialized in Amy's apartment, Sheldon noticed that Amy had out her harp.<p>

"Pop-Pop, Amy's really musical too. Wait till you hear her sing!"

_Chestnuts roasting on an open fire  
><em>_Jack Frost nipping at your nose  
><em>_Yuletide carols being sung by a choir  
><em>_And folks dressed up like Eskimos_

_Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe  
><em>_Help to make the season bright  
><em>_Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow  
><em>_will find it hard to sleep tonight_

Sheldon was alarmed to see tears rolling down Amy's face. "Amy, what's wrong?" he asked, even though he realized she couldn't hear him.

_They know that Santa's on his way  
><em>_He's loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh…_

Amy set her harp down with a bang and stood up. She angrily struck the tears from her face. "Come on, Fowler, stop being maudlin. That life will never be for you. Your boyfriend will never celebrate this season. Your children, if you even get to have them, will never wake you up, bouncing on the bed, overexcited on Christmas morning, eager to see what Santa brought. So what? You don't need that. You…don't…need…that."

Amy walked over to a beautifully wrapped present on her counter. Sheldon could see that the tag said "To Sheldon, with all my love."

She picked it up and sat on the sofa, cradling it. "He loves me. I'm sure he does – at least, he said he does. But why do I feel so alone?"

Pop-Pop stepped forward, looking very sad. "She's pretty as a picture, Sheldon. But why's your girl thinkin' you don't love her?"

Sheldon shrugged. "I should check my calendar and see where she is in her monthly cycle."

Pop-Pop stamped his foot. "Sheldon Lee Cooper, you've always been extra special grandson to me. But right now, I am ashamed of you. You are too big to turn over my knee, but it don't mean I'm not tempted. Swallow that pride and answer me proper!"

Sheldon hung his head. "I won't buy her a present. I won't celebrate Christmas with her. I won't accept her gift to me," he mumbled.

"That's an awful lot of 'I won't' for a man in love. Love isn't only about you, Shelly. When ya love someone, there's a give and take. Do you ever do things just because she wants to, even when you don't?"

Sheldon nodded. There weren't many instances, but he could think of a few.

"Good, Shelly. I'm real glad. But I think you need to be paying more attention. Your girl has some hopes and dreams that you are killin'. And if you aren't careful, you could be killin' her love."

"Some of those hopes and dreams scare me Pop-Pop."

"And so they should, Shelly. Your MeeMaw scared me something fierce at first, too. Lovin' ain't easy. But you do it step by step – and each step gets easier. And then you wonder why you was so scared cause it really is as natural as a bear hibernatin'. You don't gotta leap to the end first. But you gotta be caring for her special all the time."

"Look at her, Shelly. I woulda cut off my arm rather than let your MeeMaw spend a night feelin' like that. Do you love your girl with that kind a **passion**?"

Sheldon thought for a minute. The word "passion" took him aback; it was a word he associated with coitus. But he realized that "passion" didn't only mean physical acts, but also referred to the depth of his feeling for Amy. He looked his Pop-Pop square in the eyes. "Yes, sir, I do," he declared firmly.

As Pop-Pop smiled and nodded, Amy's apartment began to disappear and Sheldon's room began to reappear.

"Oh, no. Pop-Pop, do you have to go already?!"

"Yes, Shelly, I do. Look, I want to tell you one more thing. We don't know how much time we have on this earth. I had to leave your MeeMaw way too soon. And I wish that I had had more time with her. If I could go back, do you think I'd ever miss out on any chance to spend more time with her? Any chance to make her happy? Any chance to make her smile that special smile at me?"

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Sheldon?"

"Yes, Pop-Pop. I do understand. But I still wish you didn't have to leave."

"Me too, Shelly. But you'll be okay. Take care of Amy. And, next time you see your MeeMaw – would you find a way to remind her about how much I loved her?"

"I will, but she knows, Pop-Pop. She always knew."

* * *

><p><strong>AN - As this story delves deeper into Sheldon's psyche, it gets harder to keep up the humor. But I'm excited about the next chapter - I think I've got a fun idea.**

**As always, thank you to those of you who have taken the time to review or favorite the story. It really means a tremendous amount to see that encouragement. Bonus points for those of you who can figure out the identity of the next ghost. **


	4. Christmas Future

After his Pop-Pop disappeared, Sheldon began pacing around his room. His mind was reeling. He'd seen his father, his beloved grandfather, his friends having fun and making fun of him, and his girlfriend sad alone. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. But he knew that the worst was yet to come.

When Sheldon was a little boy, he thought the Ghost of Christmas Future was terrifying. In every version of A Christmas Carol that Sheldon had ever encountered, the ghost was shrouded in mystery and doom, frightening Scrooge terribly. Sheldon wasn't sure who could represent this ghost to him now, but he was fretting terribly about what was to come.

Sure enough, he was suddenly hit by a blast of cold air. Slowly Sheldon turned to see what was there and was greeted by a sight more frightening than any he could have ever imagined.

Standing there was Amy's father.

Amy had a picture of her father in her apartment, so Sheldon knew it was him. However, in that picture he looked positively **jolly**, smiling widely with his arm around Amy. There was certainly no sign of that avuncular man now in the dark, glowering shade that stood before Sheldon.

They stared at each other for a minute. Then Sheldon's cotillion training took over and he nervously approached the ghost with his right hand outstretched.

"Mr. Fowler."

The ghost looked at him disapprovingly.

"Uh, I mean, 'Dr. Fowler', sir. Uh…sorry….um…so…how are you doing today?"

The ghost raised an eyebrow. _Oh, dear Lord, did I really just ask a dead man how he was today?_

"I'm sorry, sir. Dr. Fowler, let me try again. I am Dr. Sheldon Cooper, your daughter's boyfriend and it is a…um…pleasure….yes, pleasure….to meet you."

The ghost ignored Sheldon's outstretched hand. The silence deepened.

"Oh, yes, of course. You aren't supposed to talk." Sheldon dropped his hand and laughed nervously. "I guess you won't be telling me any embarrassing baby stories about Amy, then."

No reaction.

_Get it together, you babbling idiot._ "Sir, I love your daughter very much and I want you to know that I treat her with the utmost respect due to a woman of her fine reputation. No, hanky-panky going on here. No, none at all. Virginity still intact…."

The ghost crossed his arms and glared at Sheldon.

"Dr. Fowler, sir, I think we'd better just go before I say anything else stupid."

The ghost gave a curt nod.

* * *

><p>Dr. Fowler and Sheldon appeared in a small chapel. Sheldon sighed. <em>I wonder if there is any way I can get tonight to count as my yearly obligation to attend church?<em>

Dr. Fowler gestured to the front, where Sheldon saw a much older Penny, Bernadette and Emily standing, crying. Sheldon looked around more – there were a few other people in attendance, talking in groups, and the tone was very somber. Then he noticed the coffin.

"Oh, I know what this is. Every version of A _Christmas Carol_ has a scene like it – we're in a funeral home for my viewing. I'm supposed to look around, see how few people there are, hear what they say about me, feel remorse and decide to change my ways."

Dr. Fowler shook his head angrily. Sheldon looked at him closely and could see that there were tears running down his face. Getting a sinking feeling in his stomach, he began pacing around. "I don't want to be here. Let's go now."

Dr. Fowler pointed at the coffin. "No. I don't want to see. That's Amy in there, isn't it?" The ghost nodded solemnly.

Sheldon started to get angry. "This is supposed to be about me and my mistakes. Not Amy. Amy's not at fault here – I am. Did I do something to get her here? I demand to know what happened."

For the first time, Dr. Fowler looked a little less surly. He gave a quick nod of his head, snapped his fingers, and they were off.

* * *

><p>The first stop was Penny and Leonard's wedding reception. Sheldon and Amy were dancing. She looked absolutely beautiful in her bridesmaid dress, with the tiara that he had given her perched on her head.<p>

As he whirled her around, Amy said "Oh, Sheldon, isn't a Christmas wedding perfect?"

Sheldon snorted. "The only 'perfect' thing about it is that I didn't have to even consider giving them a Christmas present this year. My wedding present counted for both."

Amy snuggled closer to him. "Well, that's a good thing, right? Does it give you any ideas?"

"Yes, it does. If I can find other ways to double up on gift-giving, I can get out of this dreadful holiday all the time."

_Snap._

* * *

><p>Suddenly Sheldon was in a hospital room. Amy was snuggling a tiny baby, rocking back and forth while Penny looked on from a bed, Leonard standing beside her.<p>

"Penny, Leonard, I'm sorry that I couldn't get Sheldon to come with me. You know he hates hospitals."

"Yes" Leonard chuckled. "I've also heard him talk about his feelings on honoring people just because they were expelled from a birth canal."

"Don't forget his refusal to acknowledge Christmas," added Penny.

"It's his loss. Penny, she is so beautiful. You and Leonard have a perfect little daughter here."

Penny glowed. "Our own little Christmas miracle. We've named her Noelle."

"That's just right for her!"

_Snap._

* * *

><p>Sheldon was in a strange home, but he recognized Amy's mother from the one time he has spoken with her over Skype years ago. Amy's mother looked much older, and was clearly seriously ill. She was hooked up to an IV and a blood pressure machine.<p>

"Merry Christmas, Mother. How are you feeling today?"

"A little better for seeing you, Amy. Where is Sheldon? I thought surely he'd be with you today."

"Because it's Christmas, Mother?"

"Well, yes, dear. Most people spend Christmas with those they love."

"I've explained this before, Mother. Sheldon hates Christmas."

"But doesn't he love you? Doesn't he want to be with you at special times that are important to you? Amy, I won't be around much longer. I need to say it now – I know you love him, but I don't think Sheldon is going to come through for you."

"What do you mean?"

"He isn't going to marry you or raise children with you. He doesn't seem to pay attention to your needs. He doesn't love you like you should be loved."

Sheldon bristled and muttered, "Busybody old woman." Suddenly Sheldon had to step back as Dr. Fowler stepped between Sheldon and Mrs. Fowler, crowding Sheldon's space and staring him down. "Um…sorry." The ghost nodded and stepped back.

"Mom, I will wait for Sheldon. He's working on his issues. He's worth it."

"I hope so, Amy. I truly hope so."

_Snap._

* * *

><p>Sheldon saw Amy, looking at least a decade older than her current age, on the phone in her apartment.<p>

"Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas, Noelle."

Noelle was speaking with such excitement that Sheldon could hear her words too.

"Hi, Aunt Amy. Thank you so much for the chemistry set. You give the best presents! When are you going to come and work on it with me?"

"After the holidays, honey. You have all that family visiting now. In January, I'm coming to stay with you for a week while your parents take a trip."

"That's great, Aunt Amy! I'll see you soon. Love you!"

"I love you too, dear."

Amy hung up the phone, looked around her empty, undecorated apartment and gave a deep sigh.

_Snap. Snap. Snap._

* * *

><p>Christmas scene followed Christmas scene. Sheldon never saw himself. Sometimes he saw Amy visiting their friends or playing with their friends' children. But, more often, he saw Amy alone. Sheldon saw Amy getting older and older and sadder and sadder.<p>

In one Christmas scene, Sheldon saw Amy packing away her tiara with tears streaming down her face. He didn't know what that was about, but seeing it was like a kick in the gut. It scared him. _Doesn't she know that she's always my princess?_

Dr. Fowler got grimmer and grimmer with each sight. Sheldon could feel the anger radiating off of him. Finally Dr. Fowler gave a final snap of his fingers and the two of them ended back up in the chapel where they started.

Sheldon squared his shoulders and walked over to the women, figuring that he would learn more from them.

Bernadette wiped the tears from her face. "It's so sad, isn't it? Our kids loved her and will miss her so much."

"Yes," said Penny. "She had so much love. She was a great aunt, although I know she dearly wanted to be a wife and mother. She always told me – 'Sheldon is working on his issues. He is worth the wait.' But I think even she lost hope after awhile. A couple years ago, she wrapped up her tiara and gave it to Noelle."

"Wow," said Emily. "I always thought she'd be buried in that!"

The other women winced. "Oh – sorry – bad choice of words."

"Regardless," said Penny, "she just sort of faded after that. I never saw the same spark in her." She gave a deep sigh. "Oh, look – here come the men now."

Sheldon looked over. He saw older versions of Raj, Howard, and Leonard helping an older version of himself into a seat. Leonard came over and gave Penny a peck on the check.

"How's he doing?"

Leonard replied, "Okay, I guess. He's hurting a lot. But we did get her tombstone picked out."

"What did he pick?"

"It was tough. At first, Sheldon wanted to put 'noted scientist' on it, with a picture of a monkey. But I convinced him that that was pretty far out. And the addiction research that ultimately won her the Nobel Prize didn't have anything to do with monkeys. So, in the end, we just went for her name and the dates."

Sheldon recoiled. She'd won a Nobel Prize! But he hadn't seen any sign of that in the evening's visions. He couldn't recall it in a position of prominent in her apartment. He didn't remember anyone discussing it with her. Clearly, it hadn't made her happy…

Dr. Fowler came up, tapped him on the shoulder, and angrily pointed at the casket. This time, the ghost wouldn't be denied. Sheldon gulped and began walking over there with him.

"I didn't do anything, did I? To get her here? It's what I didn't do that was the problem. I wouldn't accept all her love. I held back on my own. I didn't help move us forward. I stood in place and bound her there with me."

Sheldon looked down at Amy in the casket. There was gray in her hair and some wrinkles on her face, but she still looked beautiful to him. He wished that she had on her tiara. He remembered when she had played at being Snow White and asked him for a kiss to wake her up. How he wished it were that simple now. The tears poured down his face.

"I'm sorry, Amy. Your tombstone should say 'Beloved wife and mother'. It should say 'Cooper'. It's my fault; I'm so sorry, Amy."

"Please let me make it better. I can do better, Dr. Fowler. I can take good care of your daughter. Really, I promise. Please let me make it better."

Sheldon felt the ghost's hand on his back, as he bent over the coffin. And then he felt nothing more.

* * *

><p><strong>AN Wow - I can't believe how quickly this chapter poured out of me. It is dark - it is sad - but you have to do that in this story. Do have faith. After all, this is a story about faith in the spirit of humankind. And - please review. Reviews really do make a person write faster :) **

**Thank you to the guest reviewers that I can't thank personally who have said some beautiful things about this story. Thanks also to ****hazelra7 for mentioning my story in her author's note in "The Unconventional Romance Paradigm" - a fun romantic story.**


	5. Christmas Day

Suddenly Sheldon had the wind knocked out of him. Unfortunately that was a feeling all too familiar to him from his childhood. _Did Dr. Fowler hit me? I guess I can't blame him._ However, when Sheldon opened his eyes, he saw that instead he was on the floor in his room. Apparently he had fallen, and fallen hard, out of the bed.

After a few deep breaths, the spasms in his diaphragm subsided and Sheldon felt better. He stood up and looked around. Everything appeared to be in its place and the sun was just beginning to rise. He checked his phone. Sure enough, it was very early Christmas morning.

Sheldon sat down on his bed to think. Thank goodness that awful night was over. A large part of him wanted to chalk the whole thing up to a bad dream from his previous night's overturned routine. It was a tempting notion – forgetting the entire thing. But he knew he could ever forget the image of Amy getting older and sadder, ultimately seeing her in the coffin. He had made a promise to Dr. Fowler about caring for Amy and he intended to keep it.

Amy! He still had time – it was Christmas morning. He had to get over there and start making things right. But first he had some work to do. He sat down at his computer and began to type.

* * *

><p>By 10am, Sheldon was at Amy's door, juggling his satchel and a box of supplies.<p>

_Knock, knock, knock_, "Amy".

_Knock, knock, knock_, "Amy".

_Knock, knock, knock_, "Amy".

Amy answered the door, still in her nightgown, tangled hair with a confused look on her face. "Sheldon, have I forgotten an appointment? I don't believe that we had anything scheduled for today."

"No, Amy, but one spends special holidays with those that they love. So I am here to celebrate Christmas with you."

"Amy?"

"Amy?!"

"Amy, say something! Are you having a petit mal seizure? A TIA? A disassociative fugue? Dear God, let me call an ambulance!"

Amy shook herself, shut her gaping mouth, and stopped Sheldon with a hand on his arm. "No, I'm okay, Sheldon. I was just surprised."

"Amy – please do not alarm me like that again. It disrupts our timetable. Come on over here – sit down."

"We have a timetable?"

"Amy, do you need to go back to bed? Your cognition appears rather impaired this morning."

Amy sighed. "No, Sheldon, I'm fine. Give me 20 minutes to shower and dress. Then I'll be ready for the day."

"Fine. But shake a leg, woman. We may have to skip some of the decorating time in order to facilitate the exchange of presents."

While Amy was in her room, Sheldon sorted through his box of goodies. The only store open that morning was the local pharmacy and their Christmas selection was really picked over. But he managed to get a few things to help them celebrate. He got busy setting out the items.

When Amy emerged from her room, she was greeted by a bevy of Christmas wreaths, garlands, and lights strung across her apartment. On her coffee table was a large stuffed animal that looked like a dog sitting on a stand. Sheldon proudly pushed the button on it and it started shaking its tail and barking "Jingle Bells."

Amy looked a little stunned. She walked over to the sofa and sat down, watching Sheldon closely. Finally the dog stopped barking its song. "Present time!" Sheldon announced.

With a flourish, Sheldon handed her an envelope with a bow on it. Amy caressed it, smiling for a moment before she opened it. She pulled out an airplane ticket.

"Sheldon, is this an airplane ticket?"

"Yes. Amy, would you come to Texas with me for Christmas? Today? I know you are already taking time off from work during the holidays."

Amy's eye widened in shock. "Sheldon, what's going on?"

Sheldon thought back over his phone conversation early that morning with his mother.

* * *

><p><em>"Merry Christmas, Mom."<em>

_"Shelly, this is a real treat. I don't think you've ever called me on this holiday before, unless it falls at our regularly scheduled time to talk."_

_"Mom, this is a special day, and I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you all."_

_Astonished silence greeted that pronouncement. _

_"Mom, is all the family in town for Christmas?"_

_"Well, yes, Shelly. Missy and her husband spent Thanksgiving with his family, so they are having Christmas here. George and his family are in town. And MeeMaw is stayin' with me for a few days as well." Mary hollered to the side, "MeeMaw, pick up the extension. Shelly's wishin' us a Merry Christmas!" _

_Sheldon heard a click. "Merry Christmas, Moon-Pie! This is awful nice of you to be callin' today."_

_"Merry Christmas, MeeMaw. Mom, MeeMaw, I have a favor to ask of you."_

_"What is it, Shelly-bean?"_

_"May I come home for Christmas later today and bring Amy with me to meet everyone?"_

_Sheldon had to hold the phone away from his ear when the two women began squealing with joy. Finally the excruciating noise stopped._

_"Shelly, are you two makin' an announcement?"_

_"No, Mom, we aren't and I'll ask you not to ask us about that when we are there. But I am serious about Amy and I want us to meet each other's families. So I thought that I should bring home the woman I love to meet you all at Christmas. That's a traditional declaration of intent, right?"_

_MeeMaw interjected. "Sure is, Shelly. I remember when your Pop-Pop took me to meet his parents for the first time. That was when I was sure he loved me and we were gonna amount to somethin'."_

_Sheldon thought for a moment to figure out how to fulfill his promise to his grandfather without sounding like he needed to be tested again. "MeeMaw, I remember all the ways that Pop-Pop showed you he loved you. I think he wanted you always to remember that and I think he would want me to show that kind of love to Amy too." _

_Sheldon could hear MeeMaw's smile in her voice. "Sheldon, I'm so proud of you – all grown up, takin' care of your girl." Mary added, "Good for you, Shelly. We can't wait to see you both. Send me the details about your arrival and we'll be waiting for y'all here."_

* * *

><p>"Sheldon?"<p>

"Sheldon?!"

"Sheldon, do you need medical attention?!"

Sheldon took a deep breath. "Amy, you know that I love you." Amy nodded enthusiastically. "Last night I realized that I've still put up barriers and have limited our progress."

Sheldon started pacing. "I'm not saying this clearly. Take Christmas, for example. You love Christmas and want to share it with me. Because I have eschewed Christmas, I have kept you from doing something that gives you joy and I have kept us from sharing something that could be meaningful to us."

"Sheldon, I've always known that you don't like Christmas. I've always known that there are things in a relationship that scare you. Don't worry. You are worth it; I will wait for you."

Sheldon recoiled. Those words triggered the horrible visions from the night before. He plopped down on the couch and roughly pulled a surprised Amy into his arms. "No. No. No. You aren't waiting forever for me."

Sheldon's lips descended on Amy's. The kiss was rough, full of emotion, electric. Amy flung her arms around Sheldon, riding the wave of feeling.

Slowly, Sheldon gentled the kiss as his distress receded and the force of another, more consuming sensation took over. His lips began to move softly against hers, as he cupped the back of Amy's head with one large hand. Sheldon's other hand was roaming down her back, feeling all her curves, and finally coming to rest gently just above that marvelous rear end that he had been surreptitiously admiring for years now. Tentatively, his tongue licked her lips.

Amy opened for him, moaning softly. Sheldon was startled, as well as – there was no denying it – excited, by her reaction. He could not stop himself from exploring the inside of her mouth thoroughly as he pulled her more tightly to him. She felt incredible in his arms and Sheldon was amazed at how he ached to feel her bare skin under his hands. His fingers trembled to move just a few inches lower. A few minutes later, though, and the need for oxygen became pressing. Sheldon pulled back and rested his forehead against hers. Both he and Amy were breathing hard and looking quite flushed.

"Amy, you deserve presents from me. You should never doubt that I love you. Someday in the not too distance future we will be more than just boyfriend and girlfriend. I promise. And we will have everything that a life together should. For now, to start us down this path, I want to show you and my family how serious I am about our future by introducing you, the woman I love, to them all on Christmas day."

Sheldon swallowed hard. "Please say that you'll come."

Amy gave Sheldon the look that he had come to realize was Amy's "I love you" face. "Of course I'll come, Sheldon. I love you so much. I can't wait to see where you grew up, hold your little nephew, meet your MeeMaw..."

Amy sat up with a jerk. "Oh, my God, Sheldon! I'm going to meet your MeeMaw. What if she doesn't like me? What if everyone hates me? We are getting on a plane in 5 hours! I've got to do laundry, I've got to pack. What do I wear? Do I need a haircut?"

"Amy. My MeeMaw is special and loves everyone and everyone loves her – she already loves you. The rest of my many other relatives are mostly dumb as stumps – don't worry about them; I don't. Yes, we have to leave soon to catch a plane – Leonard is picking us up in two hours. I'll help with your laundry and packing. You should wear anything you like and you don't need a haircut for another 2.6 weeks. Does that cover everything?"

Amy looked shyly at him. "Sleeping arrangements?"

_That Vixen –always thinking ahead. _ "My mother has a full house of family, so I booked us into a nearby hotel. Two rooms, of course, but…um… they are adjoining with…uh…a connecting door." Sheldon fidgeted nervously as he waited for Amy's response.

Amy smiled and gave him a quick kiss. "Perfect." Sheldon relaxed, absentmindedly running his hands up and down her arms.

"But, Sheldon, I don't have anything to give your family for Christmas."

"Neither do I." Sheldon smiled and pulled her in for a deeper kiss. "Maybe they'd like the Jingle Bell dog – I hate that thing."

_The end_

* * *

><p><strong>AN. Thank you all for reading. Thus completes my submission for the holiday challenge. I went over in length, but I did use five of the words. I thank you all deeply for your wonderful reviews - they made writing this a real pleasure.**

**Holidays can be wonderful, but they can be oh, so hard too. Writing this story was therapeutic for me to work out some of my own holiday issues. If you are finding the holidays a dark time, please reach out. You are not alone in your feelings. I am new to this community as a member (although I lurked as a guest for some time), but I have found the people on it supportive and dear. There is also the fan fiction forum to share your interests. I'll message with you and I'm sure that others will too. The internet can expand a lonely world. Please - don't stay in the darkness alone. We all can find meaning in the holidays - I wish that for all of us. Merry Christmas.**


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